Do You Have Good Listening Skills?

Posted on August 6th, 2018 by The DSWA

In the literature of communication, listening skills top the list of important attributes.

Many books have been written about how to be a good listener.

Things like active listening; paraphrasing what someone has said to you to demonstrate understanding, open body language, “pacing and leading,” and other tools are discussed in depth.
listening skill
Topping the list is eye contact. Presumably, if you look someone in the eye, you’ll give the impression that you’re listening.

The problem with this and other listening tools is that they’re based on creating the perception that you’re listening, rather than actually listening.

As Charles “Tremendous” Jones says, “If there’s one thing I’ve been learning, it’s that someone can be looking you right in the eye and not hear a word you’re saying!”

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What Good Listening Skills Really Means

Using a checklist of listening skills won’t make you a good listener.

At best, it will allow you to fool the less perceptive people you meet into thinking you’re listening when you’re not. Much more effective and useful is to develop the actual prerequisite for listening; presence.

Presence is the ability to direct your attention away from the random workings of your mind; its obsession with the past and future, and with judging everything it hears; and simply attending to the moment.

Awareness and acceptance are the keys. Training your mind to “be here now” as Richard Alpert says, will serve you far better than an open body posture and a riveted stare.

What it comes down to is this. Stop worrying about “eye contact” and start practicing the connection and you will be far more effective, genuine, and happy in all your interactions!

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The Direct Selling World Alliance offers four types of Membership, each with customized member benefits to better serve your business and its role in the industry.

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