Are You Stuck? When Does The Coach Get To Share?

Posted on January 1st, 2018 by Grace Keohohou

dswa coaching

Sometimes as a coach, you may feel stuck.... I am writing this because I am stuck. I can’t find the “principle” that will let me move onto the right coaching path.

The generic advice is always so straightforward:

  • Don’t be autobiographical.
  • Let the client talk.
  • Your client matters. Find their sweet spot.

When you talk about your background, you are giving advice rather than giving your client the space to explore their own possibilities.

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This is all great advice.  As I work more with budding coaches, this is the hardest piece for them to avoid and is definitely one of the key areas where they change from being a coach to being a professional coach.

Here is why I am stuck:

If I don’t “share my thoughts, feelings and experiences then I am maintaining a detached (almost clinical) approach to the coaching session.  My lack of disclosing behavior inhibits my client’s disclosing behavior.

There is an old adage in sales that “They won’t care until they know you care.”  I can’t figure out how to show I care without being autobiographical.

When I share too much, the conversation becomes about our common experiences rather than about their opportunity to change their path.

So what are my options?  Am I just making much ado about nothing?  How do you find the coaching balance?

Help me out.  Comments are much appreciated. Please share below in the comment section!

About the Author

Grace Keohohou, is the Co-Founder and President of DSWA - The Alliance. Grace's greatest passion is supporting and encouraging people to achieve their dreams and life's purpose. She enjoys living in Hawaii and sharing her time with family and friends.