Great coaches want to hear what comes after the first words from their client. Good coaches listen to the first thoughts. Common coaches want to talk.
Coaching Tip: Allow The Silence
Coaching is coaching… What is the difference?
Great coaches become comfortable with silence.
When you have a chance, talk to a top coach. You’ll discover that they all share one important attribute. They don’t see a need to talk. Instead, they try to create opportunities to listen and discover.
If we, as coaches, are talking, then the client can’t or won’t. That’s backwards. If we can maintain the silence, then the person we are coaching has the opportunity to think, discover and even create powerful opportunities. As Deepak Chopra expressed this thought, “The space between thoughts are the place where insight can make itself known.”
An acronym to describe the mental process of great coaches is WAIT.
- Why Am I Talking?
If the talk is not to discover, understand, ask questions, empower, or challenge, then a great coach isn’t talking.
Practice the WAIT concept by ask yourself: Why am I talking?
When the answer is about you, don’t. If it’s about the person being coached, speak. I have a friend I’ve watched coach. She will often put her fingers over her lips to remind herself of WAIT.
Silence produces some enormous differences in our thought patterns. When we talk, we are thinking about ourselves—our words, ego’s, and effects. When we push ourselves to be silent, we are concentrating on the other person.
How do you keep yourself quiet?
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